My mom hates the apologies just as much as I hate horror movies. Back when I was just a kid and later on, when I became an impossible teenager (like all teenagers are), every time I messed up things, my mom gave me this deep look and said in a terrible rough voice "I don't want to hear you saying you sorry" - That line was like a barrier stocked in my throat leaving me unable to speak out the "brilliant" line that always popped out in my head -"What else am I supposed to do besides saying "I'm sorry?"-Later on (because you never get those valuable parental lessons until you are adult enough for not needing them anymore), I understood why my mom couldn't stand to hear me saying "I'm sorry".
The words "I'm sorry" are made out of the weight of guilt, increased by the following sentence: "It was not my intention" or "I didn't mean to hurt you". The words "I'm sorry" seem to be also made of ice, of that freaking emotional coldness that leave you frozen, without knowing what to do about some things that already happened and you supposedly cannot change.
So, dear readers and new ones, although it is true that I'm sorry and it was not my intention to let my fears and doubts win and close this blog, erasing all its contents off the blogosphere; I think you deserve a little more than an apology.
So I change the sorry for the return to the blogosphere.
I decided to return first because I missed blogging and writing so much! Also, I’m sure I still need to learn a lot of English in order to achieve some personal projects I have and this has proven to be a fantastic tool to learn. Third, because many things have happened since I erased this blog. Some of those things I can’t speak out about them, to protect my privacy and the sake of others but some other things deserve to be told here. I think that if I still have something to tell in order to provide a personal perspective on the Venezuelan crisis that can bring the reality a little bit closer to the foreigners, I should keep writing; even if sometimes I’m scared about doing it.
Last but not least, some technical details: This blog keeps the same title, the same spirit and the same domain the previous one had.
I carefully read, edited and republished some of the entries that were part of this blog before I erased it a few months ago, respecting its original date. Because of that editing work I didn’t publish the comments people originally made about those entries. The entries that didn’t make to this version of the blog, I can guarantee that they won’t be missed at all: they were poorly written, made only to fill some space, publish something and get some visitors.
I also add some multimedia material (translation: youtube) to many entries that I thought they needed a song or a video to be more properly understood.
All the re-published entries are under the “first season” tag. I plan to make a lot of more slight changes to this blog, but I didn’t want that to stop its releasing date. So to whoever might read this; hello again! Hope this can restart my previous mistake.
PS: I was listening to this song while writing this post. It probably doesn't relate a lot but I just wanted to share. It's "Out of my head" by Fastball