All girls dream. I was no exception. When our lives consisted on happy afternoons invested on Barbie dolls’ games with my cousins, we dreamed. As soon as we got to my room or theirs, each one of us picked a Barbie. I always picked a read hair one because she looked glamorous and different from the rest of the blondes out there. After picking the Barbie we picked a Ken and some other dolls to build a perfect family. Each one of us – yep, we were so girly – celebrated a wedding. And then, each one of us had a comfortable house, beautiful dresses, kids at school, a car and a great job. But the best part of all was that we really lived close to each other. Plus, the grandparents were always there to take care of our kids. Everyone was there.
We were not fool. We knew that things were not exactly like are painted in our Barbie doll games. We knew that we were never going to look as perfect as our blonde dolls. We were sure we were not going to go to a pink supermarket or drive a pink Ferrari in the future. But that was it. We thought that despite those tiny differences everything was going to be the same. Everyone was going to be here.
Now we have reached the age we said our Barbies had. We are starting our jobs and picking our Ken to build the life thus the family with him. We are driving our cars (well, in my case is my mom’ car) and going to the supermarket. Some girls are planning their weddings. We should be happy because we have reached or are very close to reach our “Barbie doll dream”. But in our dream we never thought of this: that maybe, not everyone was going to be here.
We are leaving and now that departure is part of the dream. We do not only dream about jobs and houses and cars and (please, do not let our “Ken” hear us) kids. We also dream about placing our life anywhere but here. We are dreaming about a quiet place, a safe place… Where our preparation has the recognition it deserves…Where the shelves of all stores are filled with everything we need …Where you can see new things, where you can feel the progress.
We are also dreaming about a place away from our family and friends, where the kids will not have grandparents to go visit them every Sunday. We are dreaming about old contacts kept thanks to Skype. Plus, we are dreaming about living in a different country, about getting used to a different culture and in some cases, we are preparing to face hard adjustments, new language or even, discrimination.
Our dreams are not exactly pink anymore. But I doubt any adult has pink dreams now. We are not dolls. And our world is far more complicated that a small room filled with toys.
As adults that becoming now, we have chosen to dream about saying good bye. Not just to our childhoods, but also to our friends, to our families, to our country.
We were not fool. We knew that things were not exactly like are painted in our Barbie doll games. We knew that we were never going to look as perfect as our blonde dolls. We were sure we were not going to go to a pink supermarket or drive a pink Ferrari in the future. But that was it. We thought that despite those tiny differences everything was going to be the same. Everyone was going to be here.
Now we have reached the age we said our Barbies had. We are starting our jobs and picking our Ken to build the life thus the family with him. We are driving our cars (well, in my case is my mom’ car) and going to the supermarket. Some girls are planning their weddings. We should be happy because we have reached or are very close to reach our “Barbie doll dream”. But in our dream we never thought of this: that maybe, not everyone was going to be here.
We are leaving and now that departure is part of the dream. We do not only dream about jobs and houses and cars and (please, do not let our “Ken” hear us) kids. We also dream about placing our life anywhere but here. We are dreaming about a quiet place, a safe place… Where our preparation has the recognition it deserves…Where the shelves of all stores are filled with everything we need …Where you can see new things, where you can feel the progress.
We are also dreaming about a place away from our family and friends, where the kids will not have grandparents to go visit them every Sunday. We are dreaming about old contacts kept thanks to Skype. Plus, we are dreaming about living in a different country, about getting used to a different culture and in some cases, we are preparing to face hard adjustments, new language or even, discrimination.
Our dreams are not exactly pink anymore. But I doubt any adult has pink dreams now. We are not dolls. And our world is far more complicated that a small room filled with toys.
As adults that becoming now, we have chosen to dream about saying good bye. Not just to our childhoods, but also to our friends, to our families, to our country.