We had to wait eight hours to get the results of the legislative elections. Readers are probably thinking: “What did you guys do during those eight hours, besides eating your nails?” Well; we looked at a door for eight hours – an exhausting but now iconic image that Globovision brought us -, knowing that inside that door where the CNE authorities counting the votes and that they could go outside any minute to announce the results. When looking at the door became, well, boring; we twitted. Venezuelans dragged their anxiety publishing messages of 140 characters or less. We twitted a lot: All ten global trending topics of Twitter, during Sunday night belonged or where about Venezuelan’ legislative elections. So, what all those Tweets were about?
Mostly, they were jokes. Yes, J-O-K-E-S. One of the very few things I love about Venezuelans is that we know how to answer to adversities with a smile. People mistakenly believe we don’t take anything seriously, but we do. Joking is not our way to reduce seriousness or importance of an issue, but quite contrary, joking is our way to deal with it, to make it more visible, and at the same time, more bearable. Joking is surviving. If you let me choose, I prefer to survive with a smile than with a grumpy – serious face I’m forced to make because of the “seriousness” the situation requires.
Someone started a label called “#cosasquepasaranantesdelboletin” and it soon turned viral, becoming the number 1 trend topic on Twitter for at least a few minutes. This label translates to “things that will happen before the electoral bulletin” and we used it to make general jokes about impossible things (like Alice in Wonderland “think of seven impossible things before breakfast”). I was so tense, and anxious, and angry… but those tweets made my night. As a tribute to all those serious jokers, I’m bringing you translations of some memorable “#cosasquepasaranantesdelboletin”:
1. Venezuela will be part of a World Cup
2. Venezuela will host a World Cup
3. RCTV gets its signal back
4. I’ll be old enough to vote (posted by a 15 year old)
5. I’ll get a raise
6. Gustavo Dudamel will straighten his curls
7. Julio Borges will have two eyebrows
8. Chavez will stop liking the red colour
9. Power will be out, the results will come out but we won’t find it out until tomorrow noon
10. We will all have to go to work
11. I’ll be president of the Republic
12. “He will speak to me, we will date, we’ll marry and have kids together”
13. Paris Hilton will become a nun
14. “Robert Pattison will be mine”
15. Silvester will eat Piolin. And Tom will finally eat Jerry
16. Lady Gaga will have a “Good Romance” – Plus, she will dress with jeans, a white simple t-shirt and sneakers. – Plus she will decide if she wants Alejandro, Roberto or Fernando (There were loads of Tweets about Gaga under this label)
17. Lindsay Lohan will spend one day without f… it up
18. The trilogy “Tibi Potter and the mistery of the Bulletin” will be published
19. Only God knows the “cosasquepasaranantesdelboletin”
Last but not least, the funniest part, foreigners wondering what does that weird task meant:
“It's from Venezuela, dude... > @Aye_Pistol_Pete: i really wanna kno what does #cosasquepasaranantesdelboletin mean...”
“#IWannaKnowWhy they got this long ass #TT #cosasquepasaranantesdelboletin like wut fu*k is tht about it aint even english !”
When the bulletin finally came out, a part of us were secretly sorry. #cosasquepasaranantesdelboletin was over. But Twitter will never be the same after that night. Venezuela will never be the same after that night.