Our 11 according to my eyes (Part I)

On April, 11, 2002; I was 17 and my mom asked me to join her for the political demonstration that end up in that horrible massacre. I didn’t doubt it for a second, and went with her.
Originally, the demonstration consisted only on a walk from one park (the place where I saw the "Group 11 Vive" tonight) to the, now, old offices of the state oil company PDVSA. We called that place "La plaza de la meritocracia" (Meritocracy square, as a request for the merits to be consider inside the State Oil Company instead of the political affiliations).
So we were there, hanging with some flags, watching the people and hearing the speeches but no quite clearly. Then we heard the people talking about going to the government palace: Miraflores. You could feel such an strange mood in the air that day. Someone screamed: "Lets go to Miraflores", then the crowd screamed a little more and then instead of an usual speech we heard: "Ok, lets go to Miraflores and ask the president to resign; we are going to do it in a organized way........" and he explained witch streets and highways we should take.
The government has constantly accused the opposition of “sending the people to Miraflores”, I’m not sure who really had the idea of going there, if the leader or the masses. All I can tell is that we all were a “mass” that day, leaders included, the people decided with their stomachs not with their heads. But if our decision was conscious or not, right or wrong, still doesn’t make it a excuse for the government to justify the deaths, because the government is responsible for the safety of any citizen despite if he’s a government supporter or not.
Back to the story, on the next second(it all seems to me that happens in a few seconds), the people started walking to Miraflores with a huge smile and at the same time, an uncertainly expression on their faces. My mom looked at me like saying "So... what the hell are we going to do now?" and then she said "Should we go now?". I looked at those faces again, the first faces that decided to walk to the presidential palace and felt a little bit of fear, probably most of them were spending the last hours of their lives. "No mom, lets not be "carne de cañón" (Spanish expression for something like "meat for the cannon", the first ones to be shoot or something), lets wait a little and go in the middle". So we waited, and then we walked. We walked, screamed, dance, meet with old friends, acquaintances here and there and then, like 9 Km later; we reached Caracas downtown, we were almost at the doors of Miraflores.

We started hearing a few people talking about tear gas, and troubles. But no one was sure of anything. Then we passed just by my sister in law's office and decided to make a quick stop and have lunch with her on a crappy chicken restaurant nearby. I don’t even remember if we ordered, I just remember that everyone were watching, without moving a finger, a tiny TV screen placed in one corner.
The president Chávez was giving a speech on TV and when he does that all channels must interrupt their programs and pass the speech. But suddenly there’s a line in the middle of the TV screen and some “rebels” TV Channels shows on the right side Chávez speaking and on the left side, a familiar street of Caracas downtown, some smoke and confusion and some letters that says "1 muerto..................................2 muertos" (1 death.......................2 death.................) And then no TV at all, no Chavez, no streets, like the TV were damaged or something.
My mom and I left the restaurant and then, my mom still wanted to continue walking to Miraflores. I wasn’t thinking like part of mass anymore. I took my mom's hand and made her walk down the subway stairs, I don’t remember what I told her, or how I convinced her to follow me.
A few hours later we got to the parking place somewhere close to where the demonstration started that morning, to pick up our car and go back home. The parking place man received us with tears in his eyes and he didn’t even knew us... "Oh... Mrs... you don’t know what just happened... there’s many people death, no TV signs, no one knows, no one knows.....". We came back home a little bit confused. Uncertainly, that’s definitely the worse feeling in the world and you will realize why I say so when you read what’s next on this story.